


What's There to Explain?

by newdreams



Category: Rapunzel's Tangled Adventure (Cartoon), Tangled (2010)
Genre: F/M, Gen, i'm pretty sure this has been done before but here we go, so i made it my own, their failed wedding because i've been so curious about it
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-07
Updated: 2020-10-07
Packaged: 2021-03-08 02:41:00
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,600
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26844547
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/newdreams/pseuds/newdreams
Summary: You left me at the altar!
Relationships: Eugene Fitzherbert | Flynn Rider & Stalyan
Kudos: 5





	What's There to Explain?

**Author's Note:**

> Content warning: smoking && foul language.

The wedding was the next morning. It was autumn.

Though “wedding” was a strong word to use. They wouldn’t get married under a chapel, considering they weren’t religious at all (but really, all the church houses Stalyan contacted wouldn’t open their doors for the wedding, claiming they saw the two stealing from donations. “What donations?” Stalyan asked. She liked to play stupid when she wanted to get something. It didn’t work under the eyes of God this time). One of their crew members was going to officiate their wedding, as official as a fake wedding could be.

Stalyan took a drag of her cigar between words and blew the smoke in Eugene’s face. She laughed when he coughed, but his eyes just stung.

He had to remember the silver pieces in the little brown bag hidden in his satchel during that moment. Tucked away under his seat in their wagon. The unstable movement of the rocks beneath the wheels bounced the two around and it gave Eugene a nauseating headache. 

They would be in Vardaros by dawn. The wedding was only being held there because Stalyan claimed they had the strongest drinks on their side of the canyon, but if Eugene had any hand in the planning, he would have picked anywhere else. Literally. Ingvarr sounded more inviting, as far away and cold as it was that time of year. Anything was better than the memories Vardaros had.

It reminded him he didn’t have Lance at his side. Maybe Eugene would see him around, if he wasn't gone before he got the chance to look.

“...until death do us part.” Stalyan held one of his hands in hers, the other still occupied by the cigar in a loose grip. She passed it to Eugene, and it took every muscle in his body to resist puffing his own smoke directly at her. But she had too much of a temper for him to completely entertain the idea. So he blew it out of the window and watched it disappear.

She wore an expecting look when he turned his attention back to her.

“What?”

“Oh my gods, Rider!” She groaned, dropping his hand, smacking his shoulder, and snatching back her smoke. “You didn’t zone out again. You couldn’t have. Does the for better or for worse bullshit mean nothing to you?” Right. They were practicing.

Eugene snorted. “Bullshit? Sounds like it means nothing to you.”

“Just say the lines. Please.”

“I, Flynn Rider.., take you, Stalyan.., in good health and bad—” He watched her shake her head as he spoke, so he decided to fuck it all, “we desperately get rich, but we’re poor, love and cherish for nothing, and then when we die we die. The end.” 

Stalyan’s stare bore daggers into Eugene’s eyes straight to his brain. If it wasn’t a figure of speech, he’d be dead instantly. 

She was not entertained, to say the least.

Stalyan sighed and shrugged off her jacket. But she was immediately too cold, so she put it back on before ashing out the cigar on the window and tucking it into her coat pocket. She slid down the bench where she sat opposite to Eugene and kicked her feet up to lay down, sliding her hands to cross beneath her head. “You’re going to get it right by tomorrow. Perfect.”

“I’m going to be repeating them af-”

“I said perfect,” She interrupted. Then quietly, “Good night.”

Eugene knew she wouldn’t reply to anything he said for the rest of the night, so he didn’t even attempt. He was tired anyways.

=== 

The wedding was a big deal for both Eugene and Stalyan, but for very different reasons. 

Stalyan wanted a real wedding. As real as she could make it, at least. Always had. She wanted flowers and a pretty white dress and for her hair to be done up real fancy like she saw the women in Bayangor had theirs. Her hopes were high, but she made sure to keep her expectations low. 

Eugene just wanted to get out. He was offered more silver than he could count to marry Stalyan. By the Baron, of course. It was that night that he proposed, and two months later the wedding was set in stone. It’s gonna be one for the books, he promised her, fiddling with the coin pouch behind his back.

But a pair of ginger twins, that their group picked up not too long beforehand, made it hard for Eugene to want to stay, so he decided he wouldn’t. They made him an offer that was impossible to pass up. Who wouldn’t ditch it all for the possession of a crown? It was an offer that would take a few months of planning, but that crown would be worth more than anyone that the Baron worked with, including Stalyan, and Eugene knew for a fact that money could buy happiness. He just had to step on a handful of heads to get there.

He could never tell the two apart, opting to call them Sideburns and Scar, but even that was too broad for them. But when he saw them sitting in the makeshift pews, holding onto his satchel for him, from behind the cracked side-entrance, Eugene knew that he could trust them to trust him. 

Pushing the door closed, Eugene turned to look over himself in the mirror one more time. It wasn’t that big of an issue that he couldn’t get the cowlick in his hair-part to sit right, he was going to leave soon after all. He just wanted to go out in style. Style was hard when he was wearing his everyday boots over his dress pants, however. He looked good regardless, he knew that.

But so did Stalyan, he saw her in the mirror, and it put a lump in his throat.

She wore a white dress, tailored just how she wanted where the sleeves hung off her shoulders. Its train wasn’t anything to gawk at, they didn’t have status afterall, but its simplicity worked out for Stalyan. The red ribbon tied at her waist matched Eugene’s under shirt that poked through his collar. Now why she picked red, of all colors, to go with white was beyond Eugene. But she looked good. Nice. 

Maybe Eugene was starting to feel a little guilty, but all thoughts were smacked out of his head when Stalyan caught him looking. They only had one dressing room, and the entire time Stalyan reminded Eugene to not turn around. It’s bad luck, she said, except Eugene didn’t buy into the superstitions. 

He rubbed his head where she hit him and glared at her where she stood in the reflection. 

“Mind your business, fuckhead.” It was a term of endearment in Stalyan’s books.

=== 

Something about Stalyan’s smile was inherently wicked. Even on her most genuine of days, she had a quirk in her eyebrows with her lopsided grin. It was intimidating looking at her like that, knowing that Eugene was leaving.

He didn’t have to leave her the way he planned. Not at all. He knew it was harsh, but he was done with her. Moreso, done with the Baron. Done with the overdue solids he owed and the chores and doing the dirty work without the pay. It wasn’t that he wanted to clean his hands of crime (he couldn’t even dream of that, he had too much fun with every rush it gave him), just a fresh start doing his own deeds. Even if that happened to raise the stakes to life or death for him.

But it was that kind of danger that made it fun. Eugene saw the glistening crown in his mind’s eye and saw green.

It was also that kind of danger that made him feel like his skin was too tight for his body while he stood in front of a teary-eyed Stalyan. She was talking, but he didn’t hear her. He was good at keeping a smug smile on his face even when he was drifting.

It had gotten boring with Stalyan. Sure, the heists were exhilarating, and she sure was a sight for sore eyes, but he never wanted to marry her. He never wanted to marry in general. It was too scary, even if their wedding was fake. 

The whole getting-down-on-one-knee thing wasn’t for Eugene. He didn’t want to be tied down; there were too many pretty people in the world that he could get with. Plus, in their line of work, he wasn’t sure what day would be his last. 

So when Stalyan squeezed his hand, pulling him back to the world of the living, with a whisper of a scowl printed onto her forehead, Eugene looked out to the crowd. It was a weak crowd, but that just made it easier for him to spot out Thing One and Thing Two amongst anyone else (and Lance, but those were far away hopes). 

“I, Flynn Rider,” Weasel prompted Eugene to repeat.

The twins stood up and Eugene looked back to Stalyan.

“I, Flynn Rider..,” He couldn’t help but let out an airy laugh. “I gotta go. Sorry, Stalyan, but a wedding with Weasel officiating is a complete joke.” He’d already stepped down from the altar. “Maybe I’ll catch you goons around sometime.”

Eugene was as fast as he could be in dress clothes to turn on his heel and bolt out of the building, the Stabbington twins hot on his tail. He imagined swimming in gold pieces, and the silver they carried in his satchel, and he didn’t look back. Not one single time.

**Author's Note:**

> Stalyan's the victim!!!!!  
> anyways here is my idea of what I think may have happened with the Fitz-Stalyan wedding. Since it was sooo briefly mentioned, I wanted to expand on it! Also how he met the Stabbingtons.  
> You know, there are just so many people from Eugene's past that get introduced but are never explained so I'm making it my duty to actually create some depth to it, since I have a disease called "I need to make sure every aspect of Eugene's life is rounded and fleshed out"-itis.  
> I'm also planning a couple more things regarding the endeavors of Stalyan and Eugene since they're so fun to write together. And also Stalyan is my second favorite TTS character next to Rapunzel hehehe


End file.
